Transatlanticism

Okay, now it feels real. All my bags are finally packed (motivation was lacking for awhile)  and my room is clean and ready for Patricia to move back in. Only took me the entire day. This whole day has been really tough... I'm not ready to leave! It just kinda sucks to have to leave everything behind here. 3 months just wasn't enough.

BUT I have SO much good awaiting me in Michigan. Like seeing my family... including Phil! I am the only one in the family who hasn't seen my brother since the winter, so I'm really, really excited that he is going to be home for a week. And I don't think I have gone this long without seeing Marianne... so it's going to be wonderful to be reunited. Also, moving back into my house in Ann Arbor has me shaking with excitement :) I truly realized how much my friends mean to me while I've been so far away from all of them this summer. As great as it has been to meet new people, I am so anxious to see everyone again. And, I am eager to start classes again. (embarrassing) I feel like I am taking some really interesting classes this fall... it just weighs on me every day that I can't take a Spanish course. I plan to attend the Spanish conversation tables whenever I can as some kind of way to not lose everything I've worked for this summer. Before I left they were such a chore to attend, now its something I really look forward to.


As far as transitioning back to life in the States, I know it's going to be tough. Thoughts of reverse culture shock have kind of been circling in my head the past few days. I know it's a very real thing, and the sense of depression that comes along with it is real as well. The good thing is, lo bueno es,  I am returning back home during the most exciting part of the year. And I really think that is what is going to keep me going. And it's not like I want to stay here the rest of my life, and that is why I don't want to return, I just feel like I could stay here longer, and it would feel perfectly normal. And that's what's tough.

But anyway, Friday, yesterday, I finished work. My two coworkers who I was closest with, Rosa and Clara, took me out to a really nice lunch after my work day was done. They were really, really nice people, actually everyone at my work was like that. Once I turned my back after saying goodbye I was really swept with some grief. It was like... wow, now I go home to pack. Of course, I didn't pack yesterday at all, but it was just the feeling of knowing what was next. Overall, I think my internship was beneficial. I don't really feel like I know the UN, because working at ACNUR never really felt like working for the UN. They are their own separate entity in their operations, which I now understand. I'm not sure I see myself pursing a job with the UN in the future, because I don't like how they cycle people so frequently, and I wouldn't want to live in Geneva, but it was a really cool Spanish internship in general. I could follow the news very closely, and actually see how it impacted their operations, which I liked. Seeing international news as something real, and not as just news that is so far away it has no impact on my life, is something that I really appreciated. That concept might make no sense its hard for me to describe. But also, now I have a much greater interest in immigration. I closely followed every incoming arrival of a boat of mostly African immigrants that escaped to Spain, and also Italy. Their journeys are seriously incredible, and devastatingly sad. It has sparked an interest that I did not have or understand before.

I went out with some French friends last night for my last real night in Madrid. I ran into a huge group of Ross Grad students in the street which was hilarious, well maybe just funny at the time. We OF COURSE sang the fight song which was unnecessary. Guess I am ready!

And tonight, after packing all day, Etor and I went out for ice cream and a beer and talked for a few hours. We said our formal goodbye a few minutes ago and I couldn't keep it together. I think I'm just exhausted from all this goodbyes!! No more, though. Now I can get ready for some HELLLOS in Michigan! :) Marianne, I await your airport surprise.

I think I will post again in a week or so to see what I really miss once I'm back in the States, and start to understand this new perspective. Theres more to say now but I have to wake up in five hours to go to the airport.

I leave you with my current state of mind...

(JK)